Winging Life Since 1995

Wednesday, 31 May 2017

Hello world, nice to meet you


While I have been sat here, preaching that you can only be your best self, I have come to realise that I wasn’t doing the same for me. I had a mind blowing, classic ‘take your own advice’ moment recently and well, it brought me here. May has been a month that has challenged me in all aspects of life and thrown me that chapter further into adulthood. I have gained a whole lotta experience and I know this is going to sound like a cringeworthy cliché even before I write it down, but I want to live in the moment. I want to enjoy my life without being stuck in a box and stop freaking the fuck out about things. Oh, and that’s another thing. I swear. Like a fuck tonne and I haven’t yet on my blog and really if we’re doing the honesty thing here then that’s a good place to start. It seems silly that we actually have to constantly remind ourselves that it's ok to do what we want and to take the time to enjoy ourselves. For example, I haven’t posted on my blog for a month and to most bloggers will likely turn their nose up at me, but I don’t even care because I’ve had a smile on my face every single day and that’s worth more than anything.

Social media for one is a big place to start. Even the words social media make me feel a little weak because it’s such a deep-rooted problem in our society that I can’t begin to comprehend how I will overcome this problem. Something about it gets me drawn in and makes me think I can’t go on without possibly knowing what people I’ve never met are getting up to. And suddenly I came to realise that my life was watching other people having fun and not actually having any fun myself. In fact, I actually check my phone so much I literally have to turn the entire thing off so I’m forced to look up from my luminous blue screen and have a genuine conversation with someone. That’s really fucking sad.

When it comes to my blog, this post is for my benefit more than anyone else's. It’s to tell myself and to remind myself that I don’t have any rules to follow when it comes to my own life and my blog. I will write what and when I please, I will talk about things that actually, genuinely interest me and that I’m passionate about, and if that means three people read it then I am god damn grateful for those three people. It’s about the blunt realisation of me being twenty-one years old with my eyes on my phone, instead of my eyes on the world. And it’s not the world I want to live in. So I won’t. Decision made.

Don’t get me wrong. Social media is incredible for many reasons (yes including stalking people you have a fat off crush on - shoutout to my boyf) but like with anything, there are negatives and when it’s controlling my day to day functionality, it’s not something I want to be down with all of the time.

I want to be a writer. It’s what makes me happy. It’s what I will do when I’m happy or sad or angry or in love. It’s why I started my blog, so I could write more and share more and connect with likeminded people. And I’m not going to stop, I’m just not going to stress out over sticking to a made up schedule. It’s not how a hobby should be enjoyed - and I’m not saying it doesn’t work for everybody because I do like routine, but with every day that comes, I develop as a person and my thoughts and ideas about the world change. And that’s pretty cool and fun so I want to remember that moment, not how many days I’ve gone without posting on Instagram… oh, brain...

I’m messy. That’s who I am, that’s why I write the messy edit because that represents me. There’s something quite beautiful about being messy. It’s real and raw. Messy kisses, messy hair, messy fun.

So hello world. Nice to meet you.
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