Winging Life Since 1995

Wednesday, 22 February 2017

If I Could Go Back

I had some crazy goals when I was younger. My 'when I grow up' answer changed on the weekly and every career was an option. I could do anything, the world was my oyster and I was going to stay at home forever and be rich (young Emily was realistic as f*ck.)

My ultimate goal was to work on the tills in Morrison's - and to quote eight-year-old Emily "If I'm going to work here I'm going to have to redesign the uniform because it's gross." I had big dreams... I wanted to be a lawyer once so I began to read the dictionary. I did not make it past A. I wanted to be a police offer, I wanted to be an author (still do), I wanted to be a fashion designer, and a makeup artist, a hairdresser, a photographer, a TV presenter, a spy, a computer hacker, a prima ballerina, a singer, an actress and the list goes on...

If I could go back and do anything I would want to be a ballerina. I've always wanted to do that. I used to daydream about going to The Royal Ballet School and just being immersed in the whole atmosphere of classical dance and dedicating my life to training and performing. I was too old and not good enough really but it didn't stop my mind from wandering.

It's so easy to think back at what would have been. Who and where would I be if I'd accepted my offer at makeup school, and not gone to business school? Who would I be in love with, where would I be living, would I have more or less money in the bank? The way your story is written is incredible and much like Gwyneth Paltrow in Sliding Doors, a second can change your life and rewrite your story.

However, I wouldn't change a thing.

Past events have changed me for the best, I've met people I love, people I strongly dislike and every minute of each day no matter what it incurs has shaped me. I have a lot to learn, but the people I've met are teaching me, I'm growing through having inspiring and amazing people in my life and I'm forever grateful for it. Why dwell on the past? Regret moments? Without my past, I wouldn't be my present...

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